Dr. Davidicus Wong: Rewrite your life story

My mom sends me weekly articles written by a man named Dr. Davidicus Wong. She found his articles on the internet and since then has forwarded them onto me and my sister every week. His articles talk about different life lessons, as well as sharing his experiences/thoughts on keeping a healthy life, making life meaningful, how to nurture positive relationships, some ways to deal with emotional problems, and how to overall appreciate life each day. I find his writings very inspiring, and they definitely are one of the things I use to remind myself what is important in life, and how to make it meaningful for myself, as well as others -- in a positive way. I share them with you in hopes maybe a few of you might also enjoy reading them. I'll do my best to post them each week, and I'll try to post older ones too if I can. All credits and ownership go to Dr. Davidicus Wong. I do not take any credits or ownership for what he has written, I am just sharing it. ^.^

Notes about this article: This one was written about a month ago, but I found it lying on my desk after stepping back from my school work for once to look about my very messy workspace. Reading it over again, I realized there is a number of meaningful messages about how we control our own lives, and future. I share this with you guys in hopes you will understand a little better that no matter what kind of unknown things life throws at you, each of us are ultimately the ones deciding how we want our stories to unfold. We can decide how to play out each chapter, how different parts of the story fit together, and how we as characters grow and develop through the story of life. Each of us are also part of a bigger story....the story of humanity, and even bigger than all of that combined, life. ^.^ Enjoy.


Rewrite your life story

Dr. D. Wong Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Our lives are informed by the stories we hear, and your life is either constrained or liberated by the story you tell. You recite the story of your life repeatedly when you talk to others and when you talk to yourself, and the more you do this, the more rigid and unchanging that story becomes. Yet your story is not written in stone, and there are many ways to interpret the circumstances and events of your life. Is your interpretation the best for you - your life, your relationships and your sense of self? Is your life story adaptive, affirming and inspiring?
In my last column, I talked about your own family as a source of an alternative life story. Two alternative sources for reinterpretations of your life can be a trusted friend or a professional counsellor.
We tend to choose friends who are just like us, live a similar lifestyle and think the same way. So it's not surprising that friends sometimes just confirm your point of view. Often, our friends are just people we like to hang out with, but not all these friends can help you make positive changes or live a happier life. Friends like these are more enablers than helpers.
When you ask a girlfriend for a second opinion about that expensive outfit, purse, or pair of shoes that you want to buy, you might expect her to back you up by agreeing with you. Similarly, a man may count on his buddies to back up his choice of bad behaviour.
Friends are more helpful if they can give you an alternative point of view but still from the perspective of someone who cares about you. Your best friends look out for your best interests, tell it like it is (or at least how they see it). They have the guts to tell you if you're wrong or if you're heading for a crash. Yet they still see the best in you from a perspective of unconditional positive regard and caring.
Ask your best friend these questions: How do you see me? How do you see my life so far? How do you see my situation today? In other words, what is another way of telling my story? To move forward, ask, "Knowing my values and goals, what would you do differently? How can I get from here to where I want to be?"
With your best friends, you don't have to agree with their opinions. It shouldn't make or break your relationship. Yet you ought to consider their thoughts carefully.
At some points in our lives, most of us could use a professional counsellor. This could be a social worker, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist or registered counsellor. One difference is that the focus will be totally on you as opposed to the reciprocal give and take that is part of most friendships. Much of the time, a professional counsellor will be doing more listening than talking. Instead of simply giving you advice, a good counsellor will ask you the right questions, and those questions may bring you the insights you need to improve your situation and outlook. You tell your story, and they may help you retell it in a more productive way.